December 8th, 2007

Joni

Grumpy Old Woman

What a lot I am learning today.

1. Supermarkets are trying to kill you. This because they sell alcohol at discounted prices, thus increasing sales, consumption and deaths from over-drinking. Excuse me, but anyone who wants to drink themselves to death will do so anyway, so why shouldn't the rest of us take advantage of lower prices?

2. Drinking Coke will give you Alzheimer's. If you are a teeny weeny little mouse with a very fast metabolism and someone in a lab coat forces a lot of sugar down your pore little throat, you lose your memory. (How do you test a mouse's memory?) Ergo, according to these nitwits, fizzy drinks make human beans lose their memories, too. Huh? And by the way you'd have to imbibe at least five cans of fizz every day to get the effect.

3. The howling winds and lashing rain outside the window (or inside, in the case of my bedroom), are all my fault, according to these Canutes. Against climate change, are they? I'm against murder, rape, cruelty and any number of other things but I don't see what to do to prevent them. Better not open a climate change can of worms.

4. You shouldn't believe everything you read.

It's enough to make a person turn to drink.
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