callmemadam (callmemadam) wrote,
callmemadam
callmemadam

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Hints for writers

rexharrison

A new little series on how to please me, the reader.

Here are some lines from a lovely My Fair Lady song:

Her smiles, her frowns,
Her ups, her downs
Are second nature to me now;
Like breathing out and breathing in.

Here it is rewritten by 8/10 modern authors:

Her smiles, her frowns,
Her ups, her downs
Are second nature to me now;
Like exhaling and inhaling.

Exhaling and inhaling begone! (unless you’re describing someone smoking). Most of us breathe in and out, like Professor Higgins.
Tags: hints for writers, writing
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