Went out this morning, came back to find everything normal. Half an hour later I saw my big old jasmine flapping about like a flying table outside the window. The whole thing, trellis and all, had just been ripped away from the wall. I have someone coming later to chop it down because I don’t think I could manage it with my little pruning saw. It won't be trying to get into the bedroom window now. I dread to think what will happen next.
Edit: job done. It was hanging on the TV cable, so it was as well to get it cleared quickly. My builders are wonderful. Oof. Far too exciting.