Life must be filled up

picture BBC

The first episode of the Christmas two-parter was shown yesterday and some viewers may be confused.

Previously. Caroline rejected husband John and began a lesbian relationship with Kate. They were married, Kate had a baby and was killed shortly afterwards. Slag Gillian got cold feet at the last moment about marrying Robbie because she’d never confessed to him that she murdered his brother, her first husband. She went through with it. Alan and Celia were still living in part of Caroline’s house.

Now for the Christmas fun. Caroline announces to her mother *by a call on her mobile* that she’s accepted a new headship and is moving to Huddersfield. With breathtaking disregard for the wishes of her sons and mother, she sells her beautiful house in Harrogate and buys a horrible dark place in the middle of nowhere, complete with damp and mice. Everyone hates it and her. Meanwhile up at Wuthering Heights, the ghastly farm where Our Gillian lives, the ghost of her ex-husband is in the barn, trying to kill her new husband and making a good fist at it. Alan and Celia make new wills which upsets Gillian, a woman who already lives in a permanent state of seething anger and resentment.

Not to be outdone in selfishness by her daughter, Celia accepts a part in a local AmDram production and forces Alan to take a part, too. This leads to the one funny line in the episode when Derek Jacobi, as Alan, has to say, ‘But I can’t act!’ I bet the camera crew fell about.

Mysteries. What happened to Alan’s long-lost illegitimate son who was so keen last season to be part of the family? Who is looking after baby Flora while the move takes place and everyone shouts at each other? How has John’s flaky alcoholic girlfriend Judith managed to get off the booze and write a best selling children’s book? Who is Caroline’s new lover Olga and where did she come from?

Things can only get worse this evening and I can’t wait.