I was in the village shop early this morning. Having posted a card and got some cash, I asked for something they hadn’t got, which led to a chat about shortages generally and loo rolls in particular. I asked the owner if he had any. Yes, a secret stash out the back, which he would only sell to regular customers because ‘strangers’ (a broad term in Dorset), had come in and tried to strip his shelves. He also told me two customers had personally witnessed actual fights in Tesco and Morrisons over loo rolls. No wonder there’s a newspaper headline this morning about people being ‘shelfish’.